I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
