haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
