I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Shame - the story of my life.
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