I looked at my own cervix.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
