Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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