Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
