Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize