It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
