question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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