If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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