hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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