and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize