Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
