there's paper in my vomit.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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