My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
