if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
