So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
