Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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