Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
