call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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