You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
