Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
