You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
