Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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