She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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