when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
