hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
