When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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