no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
