My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
