I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
