sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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