I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
