Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
tell me about the fingering
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
