hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
