The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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