Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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