I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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