at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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