If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
