Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Panties = found
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
