Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
