i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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