yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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