it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
