It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
