Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
