You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
