do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
