those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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