so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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