Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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