dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
