Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
