okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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