So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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