yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
