So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
