Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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