The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
