Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
