Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
3pm strippers are depressing
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Randomize
