Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
