Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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