Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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