So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We talked him into tasing himself.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
